Top 10 ways A Christmas Story would be opposite today

December 25, 2014 - table lamp

From a home bureau in Hohman, Indiana, a tongue-in-cheek demeanour during a tip 10 ways A Christmas Story would be opposite if it took place today:


10. In response to Flick removing his tongue stranded to a solidified flagpole, Flick’s relatives would have sued both a clergyman and propagandize house for Flick’s tongue injuries caused by Miss Shields’s failure to manipulate a children on a playground.

9. The father’s ongoing fight opposite a home’s furnace would expected not take place but a revisit from Uncle Sam. As remarkable by a Wall Street Journal, a EPA is attempting to discharge “coal [as a energy source] from American life.”

8. Most parents would be reluctant to leave their child alone in line to see Santa Claus during a mall. If a relatives did so, they would expected find a internal child protecting services group had private their child from them. Next stop: dependency court.

a christmas story giphy7. Speaking of Santa, OSHA has tried to discharge any risk of a fragment of risk in a workplace, that means positively no “Santa slide” for Ralphie to be pushed down by Santa’s boot.

6. Law coercion would detain Ralphie for violence adult Scut Farkas, rather than vouchsafing these nine-year olds military themselves. Law coercion officers have small choice here—overweening law makers have intruded into bland life this distant and a military simply have to make a laws that politicians pass, even if a officers don’t wish to.

Randy A Christmas Story5.  If Ralphie’s small hermit Randy continued to exclude to eat his dishes during home, he would find small condolence during school. Ridiculous new sovereign propagandize lunch standards have led to some-more than one million children opting out of propagandize lunch and bringing their own. And if Randy tells a propagandize officials that his mom encourages him to “eat like a pig,” who knows what mayhem will outcome in 21st century America.

4. Dad’s famous leg flare and “major award” might move a revisit from internal zoning officials when neighbors protest about light pollution and bureaucrats make open-ended zoning codes that leave too most option to officials.


chinese grill duck3.  The internal health department would shutdown a Bo Ling Chop Suey Palace after training that a conduct waiter used a beef hatchet to clout a conduct off of a steep during a list dangerously tighten to Ralphie and his family.

2.  The FCC would margin mixed complaints from parents angered that a large bad corporation used a Little Orphan Annie Secret Decoder Ring to simply tell their children to “be certain to splash your Ovaltine.”

And finally, a series one approach that Jean Shepherd‘s A Christmas Story would be opposite if it took place today:

1. Ralphie’s relatives could not concede him to use his Red Rider carbine movement 200-shot operation indication atmosphere purloin with a compass on a batch unsupervised in a backyard. If they did so, they would be staring during rapist charges. To contend a least, finale a film with mom and father in a pokey would put a check on this holiday classic.


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